Occasionally I write quotes and ideas which appeal to me in my journal. Today I came across an old entry, ‘Commiseration can kill people.’ It took me a moment to remember the source. I’d heard a story about Sydney Banks, whose epiphany spawned the Three Principles. Syd was giving a talk to a group, which included people with addictions. One woman in the audience who had an alcohol issue, alternated between a positive response to his presentation and outright hostility. This is not unusual because the Three Principles are pointing to the power of the individual, irrespective of previous abuse or victimisation. While the hope and the empowerment are attractive, it can be hard to let go of the identity of victim. Many traditional approaches innocently underline this sense of victimisation.

When the talk finished, a therapist with a more traditional leaning was observed to be crouched down in front of this woman, reassuring her that she was indeed broken and suggesting that she should ignore the presentation. On seeing this, Syd remarked to a colleague, ‘His commiseration is killing her.’

I don’t know what happened to that lady, but I have seen many people die from addiction over the last 35 years. And I also know that it doesn’t have to be that way. Recovery is possible for anyone, no matter what their circumstances. Millions of people worldwide have recovered from addiction.

An understanding of how our minds work can massively assist with recovery. My friend and colleague Kimberley Porter speaks candidly of moving from the trap of addiction to a free and fulfilling life in this video, recorded 6 years ago: 

‘Escaping the prison of thought’

https://vimeo.com/14144448

It seems to me that commiseration can carry with it a degree of disempowerment which is not only unhelpful but is actually untrue. Acknowledging the true source of our distress – present-time thought – involves no denial of past events. The compassion which stems from a Three Principles understanding is a very different quality which can help unlock the power within.

If any of this has intrigued you and you would like to discover more, please do get in touch.